The Case of the Missing Sapphire by Elizabeth Bent

Author:Elizabeth Bent
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: mystery, spy satire, humor, humour, cat, spy comedy, comedy

* * *

Diamond unlocked the door and pushed it open. Today she was wearing heavy pants and thick hiking boots, and a heavy, long-sleeved shirt. She let herself in quickly.

Quickly, she donned the face shield and heavy welding gloves she had brought with her. It made dealing with the litter scooper problematic, but at least she wouldn’t suffer puncture wounds.

She tiptoed through the almost completely darkened apartment, holding her breath. A single light was on in one hallway, illuminating Tinkles’ food dish and water fountain, and partially illuminating the dreaded litter box.

Jinglejinglejingle

Was Tinkles behind her? Diamond cast a quick glance over her shoulder. No movements in the shadows. She took another cautious step forward—

“REEEOW!”

“AAAGH!”

A grayish blur had run at her, swiping at her calves before running off to the shadows beyond another open doorway.

Diamond paused, heart hammering.

“Devil kitty,” she murmured. Well, it wouldn’t take long. In the interest of self-preservation she had decided not to try to play with Tinkles at all, so there was food and water and litter, and—

Oh, shit.

She had forgotten about the plants.

Diamond hurried to the window. There they were, sadly wilting.

Cursing, Diamond picked up the empty watering can. She heard a faint jingling behind her, and turned to eye Tinkles balefully.

“You,” she said, her voice echoing strangely in the face shield, “stay there.”

She quickly watered the plants—the bulbs seemed okay, but she doubted a small vine with shriveled red flowers would make it; she hoped Yukiko hadn’t been sentimentally attached to that one.

She put the watering can down and made her rounds of the apartment—icky litter scooping, food, water. All the while there was ominous jingling that came periodically from the shadows, but in her protective clothes, Diamond felt safe.

“Goodbye, devil spawn,” she said, opening the door to leave.

“REEEOW!!”

A gray blur shot past her to the outside world, jingling madly.

Diamond lunged for Tinkles; she caught the small squirming cat, but the clumsy gloves did not allow her to hold Tinkles for long.

Tinkles ran for the hedges lining the yard, and Diamond lunged again, narrowly missing her and landing hard on the ground. Ears flattened and eyes wide, Tinkles ran for a nearby tree. Diamond lumbered after her. Tinkles flowed gracefully from one vantage point to another, up and up the branches of the tree, and over, until—

“Get down off the roof, you stupid cat!” Diamond yelled.

Tinkles walked up to the peak of the roof and sat there, her back to the secret agent, tail twitching.

Diamond examined the tree. The branches would never hold her weight. She spent a few minutes looking and located the ladder the blond man had been using the other day, folded and leaning against the side of the building. She unfolded it and braced it against the apartment complex wall as Tinkles watched serenely.

Diamond climbed up the ladder, wearing her face shield.

“Heeere kitty,” she crooned, wiggling her gloved fingers. “Heeere, kitty. Nice kitty.”

Tinkles looked over her shoulder at Diamond. She blinked, then flattened herself against the roof, focusing intently on Diamond’s fingers.

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